Finding Mentors: Do you want to feel better or get better?

When one player brought up how unlucky they had gotten, another would nod in assent as a prelude to telling their own hard-luck story, which, in turn, would be nodded at and assented to by the group.

I saw Erik during a break in a tournament, and started moaning to him about my bad luck in losing a big hand…he laid out all the elements of a productive group charter. “I don’t want to hear it…if you have a question about a hand, you can ask me about strategy. I just don’t think there’s much purpose in a poker story if the point is about something you had no control over,,,the rules of being in a pod with him. He discouraged me from confirmatory or biased thought like “I got unlucky.” He encouraged me to find things I might have control over and how to improve decisions about those.

Type 1: The cheerleader / comforter

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Type 2: The listener

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Type 3: The relationship tester

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Type 4: The trainer

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